July 30, 2006
What a weird dream. I dreamt I already planned my death. That the man was quite a well known or respected guy from a traid and that he allowed me to die. There was a lot of people around who saw us do the coffin thingy. But I was told they'd never rattle about or get that man in trouble. I planned to die at night with 10pills and then to slit my wrist. I dreamt There were four coffins, blue green red yellow. We disposed one of it into the sea yesterday in the night. It was so damn risky. But we're doing it again, this time with me. We were going to do it at night. It was still morning or afternoon then. But I remembered putting myself into one and then helping the man carry my coffin into the car, including the other two to bring home because his wife thought they looked nice. I don't know how I did it. Me carry myself into a car? Maybe by then I already died. He drove the car, then parked somewhere, then we took the mrt, back to the car. Maybe it was just to distract the cameras. Maybe someone took over the car and drove it there. But it was this huge shopping building with all the branded names where I stayed on one of the higher floors. Then somehow they dragged some madman into the lift I wanted to enter but by the time the madman got in it was full. So I went to another area and saw Lic and Val at the atrium buying cosmetic stuff. The lady at the cashier was being taken away for awhile and the visa machine stated rejected. $13something. Then we got another staff to take over. Then that lady went "Whoa that girl can sell so much meh? She just come only."
Then my alarm clock rang not long after that. Maybe if the dream ended before the alarm rang I could have died in it.
That man happens to be my in-dream father. I can't believe I got excited over my death as the night was approaching. Seems kinda weird and funny in a certain way and I don't feel scared or creeped out at all.
So tell me the meaning of this.
How come I just saw another 44? Tell me the meaning of this too.
I want to go out now. I wish I could stay out again tonight.
-nIx- @ [[6:42 PM]]
What a weird dream. I dreamt I already planned my death. That the man was quite a well known or respected guy from a traid and that he allowed me to die. There was a lot of people around who saw us do the coffin thingy. But I was told they'd never rattle about or get that man in trouble. I planned to die at night with 10pills and then to slit my wrist. I dreamt There were four coffins, blue green red yellow. We disposed one of it into the sea yesterday in the night. It was so damn risky. But we're doing it again, this time with me. We were going to do it at night. It was still morning or afternoon then. But I remembered putting myself into one and then helping the man carry my coffin into the car, including the other two to bring home because his wife thought they looked nice. I don't know how I did it. Me carry myself into a car? Maybe by then I already died. He drove the car, then parked somewhere, then we took the mrt, back to the car. Maybe it was just to distract the cameras. Maybe someone took over the car and drove it there. But it was this huge shopping building with all the branded names where I stayed on one of the higher floors. Then somehow they dragged some madman into the lift I wanted to enter but by the time the madman got in it was full. So I went to another area and saw Lic and Val at the atrium buying cosmetic stuff. The lady at the cashier was being taken away for awhile and the visa machine stated rejected. $13something. Then we got another staff to take over. Then that lady went "Whoa that girl can sell so much meh? She just come only."
Then my alarm clock rang not long after that. Maybe if the dream ended before the alarm rang I could have died in it.
That man happens to be my in-dream father. I can't believe I got excited over my death as the night was approaching. Seems kinda weird and funny in a certain way and I don't feel scared or creeped out at all.
So tell me the meaning of this.
How come I just saw another 44? Tell me the meaning of this too.
I want to go out now. I wish I could stay out again tonight.
-nIx- @ [[6:42 PM]]
